Remember those days before mobile phones when girls chased boys the normal way, by phoning them and hanging up when they answered? Damn that caller ID for ruining our lives! Now all we can do is send text messages relentlessly until the poor dude feels like he may need police protection. I guess it happens in both camps… I myself have been the victim of compulsive text messager, but let’s be honest – girls are far worse at it.
They say patience is a virtue, but mobile phone companies must thank their lucky stars that the majority of the female population is not very virtuous in this department. If we all suddenly decided to chill the fuck out and, I don’t know, waited a while for a response, then the phone companies would probably need to start laying people off. You hear that Telstra? Insecure women put food on your table.
Women! Please do not comment on this post and email me about how this is untrue or that I am being a devil’s advocate because you know you all do it or have done it. Think about how often you receive a text from your mother compared to your father? Am I right? We might not be able to beat dudes in an arm wrestle but we could demolish them in a thumb wrestle because of how much they get a workout.
I think most men see texting as a tool rather than entertainment, whereas women pretty much depend on this form of communication. And, ever since they added emojis into the equation, well, need I say more? Furthermore, men are a little rubbish at picking up the signs. If a girl messages you and the message includes a question, you can bet your bottom dollar that she is going to expect a reply. I don’t even care what that question is! It can be the more obvious kind, like ‘What time will you be leaving?’ But sometimes these questions are little more subtle, like ‘I don’t feel like going out. I look like shit.’ Here, she is asking you to tell her that she is beautiful. If you do not pick up on this frequency then you are in for a followup message and/or sulking for the next few days and God forbid you don’t include an ‘x’! The ‘x’ is the new full stop. But users beware – if you start sending texts with an ‘x’ as a suffix from the beginning, and then one day you stop using them, she will assume that you are cheating on her.
Girls! I know it seems okay to send a zillion text messages to dudes because we do it to each other all them time. Can you actually imagine if guys were allowed into the vortex that is the female group iMessage? You cannot pull that shit on them – they don’t know the rules! The fellas aren’t down with the TMT (text message tennis) and you are only going to be left feeling disappointed and anxious. Where we see our phones as something of a lifeline, they see it as a tool to communicate and play games on.
Text messages are the cause of so much drama mainly because you can’t pick up the other person’s tone and you can’t control the lead time to the response. If you honestly need to know something, and can’t wait, then call the person! And not from an unknown number either because ain’t nobody got time for that.
P.S.: Drunk messaging happens to the best of us and it is polite for all involved to pretend it never happened.
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